FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
ABOUT WRITING
...answered by the other great writer
whose last name begins with Sh

Why do you call Alan Graham's archaeological company "Moundmasters" (and why is your e-mail address mndmastr@aol.com)?

Some years ago my colleague and I set out to map some of the Indian mounds in Louisiana. We jokingly referred to ourselves as "The Moundmasters." Seemed like a good term to use, sufficiently whimsical to say what I wanted about Dr. Alan Graham: That he does archaeology because it's fun and he doesn't take himself completely seriously-except when Pepper is poking fun at him.

How well are your books selling?

Since no publisher's royalty statement is intelligible, there's no way to know. I've assisted several publishers into receivership. So far my current publisher hasn't yelled "Uncle," but there's always hope. Seriously, this is a hell of a question to ask an author. It is exceeded in tactlessness only by… When are you going to publish a new book? The next Alan Graham is set to appear in September, 2000. But usually this question is asked after no book has appeared for a couple of years and it presupposes that the author controls the publishing situation, such that he can snap his fingers and command a press to accept his work. Well, of course, this is possible if you go to a vanity press or self-publish. But I prefer to be paid for my efforts, not the other way around. Of course, with the internet electronic publishing and publishing-on-demand are becoming attractive options to the tyranny of the big publishing houses.

Where do you get your ideas?

Everywhere. Newspaper and TV news stories are good sources but many of my ideas come to me in the course of archaeological projects. I tend to meet very interesting people, often in interesting places. And whenever you're doing archaeology, the "what if..?" is always in the forefront of your mind.

Do you use a word processor/computer?

Absolutely. The day, in 1980, that I bought my old Radio Shack TRS-80 Model IV and Daisy Wheel II printer was like a day of liberation. Before, I had to save up my money and ship my manuscript to a typist, who usually charged $300 to $400. After I got it back I always found things I wanted to change or that I could have said better. Now, you eliminate the secretary. I keep seeing letters in the Writer and other media from writers who claim that they can only write with a pen and that the word processor deprives them of the tendency to think through their composition, and all I can say is, to each his own. But it's hard for me to see how anyone can consider the word processor anything but a major improvement in the process of getting words onto paper. And, after all, you don't really have to rush that first draft to print-You have plenty of time to pore over your golden prose (or poetry) and change things, so I don't really understand the notion that the computer does violence to the process of composition.

Do you outline?

This is an important question. I used to just get a notion and wander with it. The process often lasted for 300 to 500 pages and I generally had to stop somewhere in the middle or at the end and throw out half of what I'd written because things had gone in an unexpected direction and the second part of the book now had no real connection with the first part. I've read about novelists like Arthur Hailey, who develop an elaborate outline with virtually every scene summarized before a word of the draft ever sees paper. This doesn't work for me, because it deprives the process of its spontaneity-I learn a lot from my characters as I write about them. They're always doing things and acting in ways I hadn't expected when I originally envisioned them. So, to avoid the endless meandering described above and yet preserve the spontaneity of the creative process, I sketch out how I see the book as a prose outline of from three to ten pages (depending on the length and complexities of the book). Then I write short biographies and descriptions of every character. When I'm satisfied with these two documents, I start writing. Needless to say, the finished product often is drastically different from the outline, but the outline has at least given me something to use as guide. But the important thing is that every writer is different and what works for one person may not work for another. Everyone has to find his or her own method.

How long does it take you to write a novel?

The thinking through of the idea takes many days. The actual writing of the first draft, at an average rate of 5 pages a day (sometimes more, sometimes less) generally takes from 60 to 90 days, depending on the length of the work. Then come revisions, which can take from days to months.

What is your greatest frustration as a writer?

You mean besides not having time to spend the big bucks? Well, there are a couple of things that bother me. One is the difficulty of getting a mainstream novel accepted these days. That's purely a function of publishing economics, of course. The other is the long period it takes most agents to evaluate a proposal and/or manuscript sent to them. Granted, such folks are often overworked, but sometimes it can seem like the writer's hit a bottleneck, because everything has to be funneled to the agent, which means two to six months of waiting to hear a thumbs up or a thumbs down.

My last job didn't work out and my fifth grade teacher said I was a good writer: So should I write a mystery novel (or horror or romance or mainstream)?

Sure, go ahead. Just don't count on having it published. Writing is a profession. Like any profession, it usually requires a long apprenticeship and many false steps. I know, because I've made about all the mistakes there are, from typing manuscripts on colored paper to sending out two novels in the same box. I hope you're a faster learner than I was. But the point is that skill is something that has to be honed and developed. So when someone says "I think I'll be a writer this week," it always seems slightly insulting-Does this boob really think it's that easy?

Will you recommend me to your agent (or editor)?

Do you really think they'll listen? Well, at least tell me who you think the best agents are. There are too many out there to mention here-though there are an equal number of bad ones. The best agent is one who will look beyond the current book to your career and who will guide you as you progress. A few agents actually do that. Examples of highly recommended agents are Dominick Abel, Maria Carvainis, Meredith Bernstein, and Deborah Grosvenor, and I'm sure there are many more. I, myself, am represented by the Peter Rubie Literary Agency of New York. Peter is the author of several excellent books on writing, at least one of which is available through the Writer's Digest Book Club.

Who are your favorite novelists?

The late Graham Greene, of course. And John Le Carre', Len Deighton and the late Adam Hall. Among mystery novelists, I guess I've read about all John Dickson Carr ever wrote. Ditto Chesterton and Doyle. Other favorites are the Raymond Chandler and Ross McDonald, and the living Dick Francis and Tony Hillerman. J. P. Donleavy is about the funniest writer I've ever read and Lawrence Durrell the most accomplished at weaving a spell. His ALEXANDRIA QUARTET was a brilliant accomplishment.

So what's the greatest American novel of the 20th century?

That's easy: Robert Penn Warren's ALL THE KING'S MEN.

Who are your favorite philosophers?

Also easy: Yogi Berra and Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers on National Public Radio's Car Talk (Cartalk.com).

I'm a young, reasonably good looking woman. At a recent writer's conference I slept with a man who said he was a New York editor. Do you think his publishing house will buy my book?

Probably not. If this was more than two days ago, and his house hasn't folded in the interim, he's probably already been fired, left publishing, or become an agent. But in the unlikely event he's still there, be prepared to be asked to do frequent revisions in his New York loft.

When I get my first publishing offer, should I go for more money spread out over a longer period (for example, some on signing the contract and some on delivery of the manuscript), or should I take a smaller amount, all up front?

A no-brainer: Get what you can up front, because the publishing house may not be there when it comes time to deliver the manuscript. This has happened to me and it is, to say the least, disconcerting.

An agent told me he/she would look at my manuscript if I paid a reading fee. Should I send a check?

No, and don't send the manuscript, either.

What is your opinion of Mr. James Joyce?

James Joyce was a great benefactor of our culture because he provided (and continues to provide) work for numerous English professors who never tire of explaining what he really meant. A free book goes to the first person who e-mails me the correct answer to which famous contained this question!

Which of your own books is your favorite?

Oh, God. There isn't one I haven't enjoyed writing and my current mystery series about a pair of contract archaeologists is tremendous fun. It's fun because I'm writing about what I do on a daily basis, which is go to different areas and look for archaeological sites (For more about this see the FAQ about archaeology). I tried to get this series off the ground for ten years and, finally, with the help of a new agent and publisher, was successful, so I feel some sense of accomplishment (Did you say TEN years? Yeah. Welcome to the writing life). Actually, though, some of my favorite books are manuscripts that have never been published because they are too mainstream (i.e., they don't fit into a category like mystery). These include GUARDIAN, which covers 20-odd years of an anthropologist's life in Mexico, in episodic form; THE VISITING SCHOLAR, about a recently-released mental patient who finds employment as a professor at the World's Worst Little College; YANQUI, YANQUI, about a lawyer who must go to a troubled Caribbean island in order to deliver a bequest; CLINIC, a rollicking tale about life in a kidney dialysis clinic in New Orleans; and ASSASSINS, a whopping long story covering sixty years in Louisiana politics. Which leads to the next question…

How many books have you written?

Another question from well-meaning but not very astute people, because they usually mean, "How many books have you had published." There IS a difference, as the answer to the preceding question makes clear: It is a tragic truth that editors and agents often fail to see the merit in some of one's favorite works, which are then consigned to the filing cabinet-manuscript limbo. Yeah, well, if you couldn't get anybody to publish them they're probably pretty bad, right? Maybe. But maybe not. It's true that almost anything anybody writes (including work by that other writer whose last name begins with SH) can be improved. And I've written my share of stinkers. But acceptance of a novel by an agent; subsequent acceptance by a publisher; and final success as a published work depend on a host of factors, not the least of which is dumb luck. After all, reading tastes are a subjective matter and what one editor/agent hates may be what another likes. You may strike out consistently with a literary property until you hit that one person who says, "This HAS to be published." But then they have to convince their publisher and publicity departments, and after that, the work has to be promoted enough to come to the attention of reviewers. Would anybody remember James Bond if JFK hadn't remarked once to reporters that he enjoyed the little-known series by Ian Fleming? Would anybody buy some of the trash that's written about celebrities these days if the publishers of those books didn't dump big bucks into their advertising budgets? In the end, persistence is what pays, but you still need luck, and a shameless ability to hype your own products. Or, failing that, a mention on Oprah.

I get the impression from all this that New York agents and editors are pretty much a bunch of jerks. Is that right?

Not at all. As someone who comes from the academic world, where scathing peer reviews are de rigeur, I am constantly amazed at how tactful and supportive most agents and editors are. Never once has any of them subjected me to sarcasm or tried to belittle anything I've written and quite a few have been encouraging. They're just very busy people and their livelihoods depend on agenting and publishing books that people like you and me will buy.

So, with all these stumbling blocks, how can I be successful with my book?

Well, you might commit some horrible crime and write a book while you're in jail. That's often worked in the past (Caryl Chessman, Adolph Hitler). Or go to all the writers' meetings and conventions you can find and suck up to agents and editors. Attach yourself to some older, successful writer and offer to baby sit his/her children, wash his/her car, go get pizza, whatever, for an intro to that person's agent and/or publisher. Get elected to some high public office and after you've been thrown out for malfeasance, write your memoirs thinly disguised as a novel. Get a one-way ticket to New York and make the rounds of publishers, demanding at every reception desk to know who's in charge and threatening to take your work elsewhere if you aren't instantly admitted. Or get a web site and let the whole world know that your unpublished book is highly recommended by someone who took a class under a writer whose ode to a microbe was once nominated for the prestigious Arlo Bumflox Prize awarded by graduate students in the English Department of Flyspeck U.

With all these stumbling blocks why do you bother to write?

Just lucky, I guess…No, it's a neurosis. Most writers have to. And, every so often, when somebody says, "I enjoyed your book," it makes it all worthwhile, knowing something you did-that wasn't illegal or immoral-gave a total stranger pleasure for a few hours.